dream draft-- Dick and Wally

[staystraught]

Eleven-year-old Robin flared his cape with an irritable flourish.

"How can you have super-speed and still be late?"

"Is that a riddle, or an actual question?"

Batman had a way with questions; either he answered them or he made Robin do it himself, and Robin could never tell whether he liked the dry informative answers or the indulgent "use your brain" ones less.

So he chose the more whimsical option and threw it back, intending it as punishment. "Say it's a riddle. What's the answer?"

"That depends on what kind of riddle you want it to be," he said, just as seriously as if they were discussing the weather. Deliberately not getting annoyed by the silliness of discussing the proper construction of a riddle. "If you want it to be anticlimactic, like 'why did the chicken cross the road,' I suppose the best answer is 'because he took his time.' But if you wanted to go for some kind of word play, or--" and here Robin grinned, mollified, because he sensed Batman's clear distaste, "pun, probably the easiest would be 'because he's dead.'"

There was a soft crackle-snap in the radio ear pieces, and The Flash's voice came over quickly, "Who's dead?"

"No one who wasn't dead a minute ago," Robin said impatiently, "Which is still five minutes after you were supposed to be here."

Flash laughed. "Keep your capes on, we'll be there in a flash."

Batman rolled his eyes at the pun, and Robin shot him a look of profound disbelief. He considered saying something about it, something like tell me I never slowed you down like this, but Batman was the sort of person who ignored hyperbole when it suited him and would likely counter with a very long, very minute list of every time that could even be misconstrued as Robin slowing him down.

And then tell him he needed to learn humility.

Flash and his new sidekick were a grand total of nine minutes late; the last few passed in silence for the dynamic duo and were, indeed, over in a veritable dlash. A streak of red stopped politely on a dime, right next to Batman, and after a two second delay, the second streak, a little red and yellow thing that did not stop on a dime, skittered into the Robin's line of vision.

Emphasis on the not stopping part. The fact that it yelped a bit when it seemed to realize its deficiency was clue enough even if you haven't been mentored by Batman for two whole years and Robin sprung upward just in time, catching himself on a low-hanging tree branch and swinging around to perch on it.

In perfect time and at perfect vantage to see the so-called Kid Flash plow straight into a stone wall.

Well, almost; Flash got a bit of a clue and managed to prevent the actual impact, but Kid Flash still flopped backwards with a mingled awkward exclamation of relief and embarrassment, and just high-pitched enough that it made Robin laugh.

The other three there all looked up at him, and he valiantly tried to suppress his giggles, but Kid Flash looked so lame just, lying there on the ground. What did he think he was going to do, trip people?

But this was how he liked it, all attention on him, and he somersaulted down -- tight and precise, just as his mother taught him -- landing in a neat crouch and waiting a single, loaded beat.

"Maaaaybe you shouldn't have taken off his training wheels just yet."

Directed at Flash, over his head, just for maximum levels of dismissal.